We Only Live Once...

That's what everyone says a lot. But I've been thinking about it for the past four days or so. We only live ONCE, which means every day... will come and go, effortlessly and casually. But it will be one less day for me to reach for that goal, to sing that song, to watch the sunrise, to kiss the guy.

The truth is, I will be moving away from the Big City in a pursuit of higher (highest?) education at a very prestigious institution. It is a three year commitment and I will need to file for residency of that state to get 50% off my tuition for the next year. My goal has been set, I have laid out the next three years of my life before me. I am excited and nervous... and hesitant.

Why the hesitation? Because my life... is amazing right now. I don't have an exuberant amount of money.. and that is one of the reasons why I am going to graduate school - to advance in my career and to be able to afford more, but besides that, I am so happy. 2007 has been glorious so far and it doesn't look like that's going to change any time soon.

The most important reason for my hesitation is, believe it or not, Mr. Popular. This man treats me almost like a goddess. He's everything I've wanted... and previously I was able to find traces of potential in some guys... but this man epitomizes it all.

He is sweet, considerate, career-minded, intelligent, silly, and caring. He is not arrogant, pretentious or boring. He is hot as all hell. He's very into sports (and actually participating in them and not watching them like a couch potato), but also the arts and entertainment. He loves Laguna Beach without being a tool about it.... and in slightly less than 4 months I will be away from him.

Now I know, if we really want to make this work... if HE wants to make this work, I am willing to do my best. But realistically speaking, is it going to work? I don't know. I can't even be certain myself, so how can I say anything about him?

But for now... my mantra is that we only live once. There will only be one summer '07 in my life and I will be damned if I don't make it the best summer of my life.

With that being said, if Mr. Popular asks me to go away on a week-long vacation with him to the Caribbean, I will be very much inclined to say yes.


Something about this boy fascinates me
hes the type that likes to hang with the stars
The way he makes me feel and sedates me
who knew we would take it this far

-Jess

Seven Days... Four Dates...

Mr. Popular and I are going on our fourth date tonight. We are totally hitting it off on so many levels.

Yesterday at the Deck Bar, sparks were flying. I did not care that Finkeldouche was there, literally a foot away from me, but still ignoring the hell out of me, while his friend Sidekick was being his nice self and saying hi to me and my friend G. Apparently, F-douche is really into some girl but she won't have any of it. Oh whatever, that's probably cause he's a giant prick and he's also balding. Ha.

Anyway, as far as I was concerned, it was me and Mr. Popular drinking Henny and Hypnotiq (which by the way was 18 dollars!!!), feeling like rock stars, getting to know each other. I was practically extatic to be with a man who is not only refreshingly interesting and intelligent but also normal. I was so tired of freaks and creeps... butI am so glad I held out this long for this guy to come along. And there, in the middle of the dance floor around midnight, with F-douche and Sidekick just feet away from us, with drunk people yelling at each other over "The Way I Are", we kissed for the first time. And fuck it, it was magical, way better than those star-studded kisses in Hollywood-clad movies.

Now, I'm not putting all of my eggs in one basket, as my friend Facebook Stalker so glamorously put it, but I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't have highest hopes for this budding romance to take off. And you know... if I find out that he's two -timing me, or just trying to get into my pants (which, by the way, is a difficult mission), I will kick the bastard in the nuts so hard, his balls will be numb for the rest of his life. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I cannot wait for tonight to come! I can't wait to see his smile, and have him "accidentally" brush his hand against mine, and perhaps even sneak a little kiss goodnight right before i hop into my car.

Dating around comes with a price. You lose a little bit of naivette but also a little bit of your sol and sensitivity if you are not too careful. But the rewards of finding that one person can rejuvinate you again... and as far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters. I might sound like an effing fool whenI say this, but I've been practically floating not walking for the past two weeks. And fuck, if this isn't total bliss worth savoring, then I don't know what is.

Still pimping for life,

-Jess