You shouldn't marry for money unless you are very broke!

Well, not much on the love front, but I have some big news. I lost my job. I was laid off due to lack of work and am now struggling to find new employment. It shouldn't be hard. I'm a hard worker, with good skills and a likeable personality. But in the meantime, how am I stupposed to stay fly and pimp without any cash coming in?! I'm screwed!

In other news, Jess and I have come up with the perfect plan! I'm going to meet the lead singer of Fall Out Boy (SOME HOW?!) and force him to fall in love with me through my beauty and charms! Then, he'll introduce Jess to the lead singer of Gym Class Heros. She'll do the like to him, and we'll marry them both! Then we'll happily ever after living the rock star life while having husband-sanctioned affairs with georgous men the likes of Justin, Timbaland, the back up dancers for Christina Agulara, Jake Gillenhall, and many, MANY more!

Let's not forget our bigger brothers out there! To all the Chunky Chunks of the world: we love you long time!


Till next time, girls...keep your fingers crossed that love and money come my way...

... (a very broke) Joanna

Cupid's Chokehold

This weekend has been one of the most insane and outrageous of my entire life. It all started on Thursday with seeing JT in concert. Well, during the concert, Timbaland came out on stage (I was soooo psyched!) and did a whole set of awesome song mixes. Next day my good friend DJ did me the honor of hooking me up with the entire album even though it's not on sale yet. Way to go, love!

Friday. Friday, friday, friday... It's funny... it's taking me so long to remember what I did on Friday because this whole weekend has been a one long perfect blur. Nevertheless, on Friday we went to see this DJ (not my DJ) at the Gay Club. I have never seen one place that was soooo full of hipsters. There was this one absolutely gorgeous, hot, incredibly sexy gay man. Of course, he was there with his BOYFRIEND. Figures, right?

On Saturday, we went to the Exclusive Club that was open til 4 in the A.M. It was pretty much insane. The Frat Boy went with us and since we pregamed before the club (the admissions was extremely pricey and we didn't want to spend tons of money on drinks), he was smashed beyond belief when we walked into the club. Well, when Frat Boy gets drunk, he's all over EVERY GIRL HE SEES. Last time, we made out on the dance floor, but like I said before, that was done and over with. I am not revisiting that situation again. Well, needless to say, Frat Boy asks me if I want to dance so he can be all over me. I, ever so gently, place my hand on his shoulder and say, "Honey, I don't feel like dancing right now. You are ruining my game." I was, of course, half joking when I said that, but frankly, he was getting on my nerves, because yeah there were some cuties around that I wanted to talk to and yeah Frat Boy was kind of cock blocking.

Sunday, I had the second date with the Really Short Guy, aka Shorty. We went to some bar and knocked back a few and then headed over to his place for some movie watching. Okay. This is the part where I mention that Shorty has THE PERFECT APARTMENT. I mean, I would kill for that place. The view of the Big City was amazing. The lights, the skyline, everyting was perfect, as was the guy I was with. Why the hell is he short? That's his ONLY shortcoming. That, and his roommate. He's a total drama queen, but more on that later.

So we ended up watching Pirates of the Caribbean, Hollywoodland (where we totally missed the whole point of the movie), and a bit of Havoc which is just simply a hot piece of ass of a movie. I called it a night around 11:30 when I was like, "Shit, I really need to get SOME sleep before the work week starts." I really hope he fucks this up somehow.... I am falling for him a little bit. Just a little bit.

And finally, this is totally unrelated but here is what my cell phone says about me, apparently:
Samsung: Young women, career focused, success driven, fun seekers
Celebrities who have one: Leonardo DiCaprio, Allison Janney

Okay, that pretty much sums me up.

Call it love, or whatever you call it,
but everywhere I go I keep his picture in my wallet.

-Jess

Lest I Be the April Fool...

So I was watching the Today show the other day and apparently, we are not the only girls out there struggling to make some sense of this dating thing through public sharing! Apparently, there is a mass amount of blogs and vlogs out there that document the wonderful world of dating through a woman’s eyes.

They warned that it can come back to haunt you if you trash talk a man online. Well, that, my dears, is why ALLLLLLLL names have been changed! Even ours. You will never know us by name, where we live or who we’re really dating. Though I promise you, we’re not making any of this stuff up. It’s too crazy to be something dreamed up! Hehe!

So, today is April Fools day, but it is yet to be seen who the April Fool will be. I hope it will not be me, though I fear it may. You see, tonight, as friends only, Mr. Anonymous and I are supposed to be seeing a movie. The thing is, the last few times I have invited him to hang out with me in a non-date like situation (so as to make things more comfortable), he has ditched me, last moment. Sometimes, he does not even call. The one time, I called him 5 minutes before he was supposed to meet me to ask him a totally unrelated question, and he said he couldn’t come out. He wasn’t in the mood. C’mon! That’s so lame!! (And I’m sorry if I’ve already told you this, but I wanted to make sure everyone gets the point that Mr. Anonymous has turned into a Flaky McFlakerstein!)

Well, I have a feeling tonight will be a go, because 1) it was his idea, and 2) it’s not a club or a bar, it’s just a simple movie. But we’ll see! It is April Fools day, is it not? I just hope I’m not the one with 2 tickets and 1 broken heart. I mean, I know this isn’t a date, but friends can break your heart too! And while I’m not the best friend ever, my fear here is real and I’m not going to deny myself my true feelings. Have to be true to yourself first and foremost.

Let’s just hope I can keep my hormones in check, because while I know we’re just friends, that was never how I wanted things to turn out.

Oh well.

Happy April Fools!

…Joanna